


A Father's Fear

by Wolfstar4evr



Series: Supernatural Oneshots [31]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Awesome Bobby Singer, Comforting Bobby Singer, Crying John Winchester, Inspired by Justin's s1 storyline in Brothers and Sisters, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, John cares really, Parental Bobby Singer, Sam doesn't go to Stanford, Sam joins the army, Scared Bobby Singer, Soldier Sam Winchester, Terrified John Winchester, parental talks, talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 13:39:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15686517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfstar4evr/pseuds/Wolfstar4evr
Summary: Fueled to join the army after the events of the 11th of September 2001, Sam enlists without telling anyone in his family, except leaving voicemails to Bobby and Pastor Jim the day before he reports. Bobby tracks John down, feeling that he deserves to know his son is being sent to fight overseas. The talk starts out rough, but in the end John needs to know exactly what has happened, no matter how unexpected - or even typical - his reaction may be.





	A Father's Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This is a concept I DEFINITELY want to add to, maybe a reunion? Let me know if you'd like to see something in this AU, and thank you for reading!

Bobby has been driving for hours, breaking speed limit after speed limit to reach the Roadhouse before John leaves. After their last fight, as usual about how John was ruining his children’s lives, Bobby had vowed never to speak to the man again, and he’s sure that sentiment was shared as that fight ended with a shot from Bobby’s shotgun landing less than a metre away from John’s foot as he tried to leave Bobby’s property. But things have changed, and he has information John needs to know.

“He still here?” He asks Ellen, breathless, the moment he walks through the door. His old friend gives him a concerned look, but nods towards one of the tables, where John Winchester is halfway through a poker match and also staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“I didn’t think we’d be seeing each other again, Singer,” The dark haired man says, glancing back down at his cards. Conversation stopped when Bobby walked in; the Winchester-Singer feud is legendary, and while conversation does tentatively start again everyone keeps an eye on the brewing argument. The men at John’s table, a few Bobby recognises and a couple he doesn’t, continue their game but don’t speak, glancing wearily between the two men.

“I need to talk to you,” Bobby says, knowing the answer as soon as the words come out of his mouth. John just snorts, as expected, and turns back to his game. The other man watch him, shoulders hunched with the tension in the room. Bobby has to steel himself for his next words, knowing that it could get violent _quick_ , but it might be the only way to get John to listen. “It’s about Sam.”

Immediately John’s gaze snaps up to him, his hands clenching until the cards bend. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Bobby wants to strangle the man. “Your son,” He spits, all noise having stopped _again_ at the mention of Sam. Everybody by now knows about the Winchester family break-up, how Sam got a full ride at an Ivy League college. A few people have asked Bobby about it in the past, approving of the fact a kid managed to get out of the life after being forced to be a hunter his whole life. A couple think Sam should have stayed and fought the good fight, but also faulted John for disowning the kid. Sometimes Bobby thinks it’s funny that the person in the world who most disapproves of Sam’s _college scholarship_ is his own father.

“You mean the family-abandoning spoiled brat who couldn’t care less about his mother or the fight we’ve been fighting for her?” John hisses back, slamming his cards onto the table and standing up abruptly. Bobby desperately wants to take a step back; John is a couple inches taller than him and the man reeks of alcohol. Despite that, he can tell by the sharp look in John’s eyes that the man isn’t drunk, isn’t even tipsy. He’s just still – four months after disowning Sam – murderously angry about his son’s so-called desertion.

“The son who got a full ride to fucking _Stanford_ ,” Bobby corrects, unable to tell whether John’s face is colouring with yet more rage or shame.

“I thought we covered this last time,” Is all John seems to be able to reply, shaking with uncontrollable emotion. “He’s happy at college now, happy away from his family, that’s the end of it.”

Bobby shakes his head, looking John straight in the eye. “It’s not.”

“ _It is_ ,” John says dangerously, pushing past Bobby to get to the bar. Ellen eyes him dubiously, and doesn’t rush to serve him, just gives Bobby a look that clearly says _don’t slam his head into the bar I just polished_.

“John,” Bobby says, his tone considerably gentler. “This is what I need to talk about. Sam-“

“What?!” John yells, turning around abruptly. “Is studying hard? Needs money? Living his best life? I don’t give a _fuck_ , Singer. He left! He went to Stanford and he-“

“That’s the goddamn point Winchester!” Bobby roars, clenching his fists to avoid punching the man in the face. “Sam’s not at Stanford!”

John has the nerve to _laugh_. “Oh don’t tell me. His ‘full ride’ didn’t get him as far as he needed? The kid couldn’t hack it and dropped out? Some bullies-“

“He enlisted you _fool!_ ”

Bobby sort of enjoys the way all the colour drains from John’s face, until he remembers his own reaction when Sam told him, the sick feeling he had deep inside, the thought that this couldn’t possibly end well. “What?” John whispers, his breathing suddenly laboured. “When? _Why_?”

“He called me a couple months ago-“

“A couple _months?!_ ”

“Hold on!” Bobby orders, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “He… After what happened in New York last year, the attacks on the World Trade Centre, Sam really felt that we were in a war that it was his responsibility to fight in. He was talking about dropping out of school, just dropping everything and going. Jim and I convinced him to give school a try at least until Christmas, but he called us both last week, saying he’d already enlisted and was reporting the next day, and that he’d waited to tell us because he we’d try and talk him out of it.”

John seems at a loss for words. “What about the war here?” He finally splutters. “The war he’s been fighting his whole life? He always hated violence, hated the hunt. I’m not dumb enough to not realise that’s a big part of why he left. Why would he think going to _war_ would be any different?”

Bobby sighs, seeing the panic and the defeat in his friend’s eyes. He’s aware of everyone staring at them, shocked by the proceedings, but he can’t bring himself to care. John _had_ to know what was going on, whether the whole hunting community overheard or not. “John.” It’s been _years_ since they were friendly enough to use each other’s first names. “Sam never knew _anything_ except hunting. He never knew a stable home, family dinners, or even his mom. He never knew what he’d lost like you and Dean did, so he never had a cause. This is his cause, John. He felt the call to fight and he followed it.”

John seems to understand that – he himself was a marine after all; he probably remembers the call to protect his country well, he just probably didn’t expect to see that mirrored in the son who has never taken well to being treated like a soldier. The dark haired man runs a hand down his face, nodding slightly to himself before he abruptly turns and leaves the bar. Bobby follows, understanding the man’s need for space from all the eyes staring at them. He holds a hand up to Ellen as he goes, signalling for her not to follow.

When he goes outside he isn’t surprised to see John stopped in the parking lot, almost completely engulfed in the darkness the night has brought. Bobby steps close to him, pursing his lips at the sight of tears shining in the old man’s eyes. He lays a hand on the man’s shoulder, tactfully ignoring his increasingly hitching breath.

“I need to call Dean,” John says after a few moments of silence. “I, um, Dean needs to know. I need to call him.”

“Then we’ll call him,” Bobby says softly, squeezing his shoulder.

John pulls in another laboured breath, before letting it out slowly. “I wasn’t angry he went to Stanford because he got out of hunting. I was… God, Bobby, I was scared. I knew that the life was hurting him, I knew he was angry all the time, I knew he was depressed, but at least I could protect him. I couldn’t protect him at Stanford and God-“ Suddenly, John is pressing both hands roughly to his eyes, trying to keep his tears at bay. Bobby isn’t surprised by his confession; as much as he’s hated how John has raised his children, as absent as he’s been and as much as they’ve thought, Bobby has never doubted that John loves both of his kids; he just has trouble showing it. “This is so much worse,” John continues, choking down a sob. “I can’t protect him there, Bobby. I can’t even check on him. What if… What if he-“ John can’t seem to go on, dissolving into hitching sobs. Bobby reaches around him and pulls into a hug, the years of friendship he’s had with this man coming back in full force, no matter how broken things have been between them recently.

“Sam’s a fighter, Johnny,” Bobby says, grimacing at the sound of John’s sobs into his shoulder. “You trained him yourself. He’ll go overseas for a few months, and then he’ll come home taller and prouder than ever, you’ll see. He’ll get home. Don’t you worry.”

John just seems to cry harder as Bobby tightens his grip on him. They both have the same thoughts right now: what If Sam doesn’t come home? What if he’s permanently injured? Bobby only half believes what he’s saying, but right now he has to be strong for John. Sam _will_ come home, they’ve just got have hope. They’ve just to hope.


End file.
